8/8/09 @ 5:53am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143
What do the Leafs and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice.
What's the difference between the Toronto Maple Leafs and a cigarette vending machine?
A: The vending machine has Players!
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and whales have in common?
A: They both get totally confused when surrounded by ice.
Why are the Toronto Maple Leafs like Canada Post?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!
Why doesn't Hamilton have an NHL team?
A: Because then Toronto would want one...
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs, Toronto Argonauts and the Toronto Blue Jays all have in common besides being based in Toronto?
A. None of them can play hockey.
What do you call 30 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs?
A. The Toronto Maple Leafs.
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and Billy Graham have in common?
A. They both can make 20,000 people stand up and yell 'Jesus Christ'.
How do you keep the Toronto Maple Leafs out of your yard?
A. Put up a goal net.
What do you call a Toronto Maple Leaf with a Stanley Cup ring?
A. A thief.
What do the Toronto Maple Leafs and possums have in common?
A. Both play dead at home and get killed on the road.
How many Toronto Maple Leafs does it take to win a Stanley Cup?
A. Nobody knows... And we may never find out.
This guy says to the bartender, Can my dog and I watch the Toronto Maple Leafs hockey game here? My cable is out, and my dog and I always watch the game together.
The bartender replies, Normally, dogs wouldnt be allowed in my bar, but its not very busy right now, so you and the dog can have a seat at the end of the bar. But, if theres any trouble with you or the dog, Ill have to ask you to leave..
The guy agrees, and he and his dog start watching the game. Pretty soon, the Leafs manage to score a goal and the excited dog jumps up on the bar, barks loudly, does a back flip and runs over to the bartender and gives him a high-five.
The bartender says, Wow, thats pretty cool! What does he do when they win a game?
The guys answers, No idea, Ive only had him for 3 years.
The last time the Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup most of their fans were in diapers.
Coincidentally, the next time they win it those same fans will be back in diapers again...
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A good friend of mine played hockey here in germany for a few years. Now he is back in the stated and is assistant coach. His father is still in the hall of fame, but he was and still is a good one too :-) Quote
8/8/09 @ 7:09pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143
A good friend of mine played hockey here in germany for a few years. Now he is back in the stated and is assistant coach. His father is still in the hall of fame, but he was and still is a good one too :-)
Yeah a huge fan I played it for a good part of my life up to a semi-pro level. I`m a RED WINGS fan (Detroit), but I love to cut up the LEAFS every chance I get Thought I`d try it out here. Everyone here where I live are mostly LEAF fans except for a few of the SMARTER ones who like "real teams !" Quote
My friend is Dan Laperriere. He is assistant coach of the Arizona Sunbears right now. His father, Jaques, is in the Hall of fame. I had the honour to meet that man once, when I visited Daniel.
Our team here was playing for over 15 years in the first league in ice hockey and in this time we had lots of good canadian players here :-) Quote
8/9/09 @ 6:13am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143
My friend is Dan Laperriere. He is assistant coach of the Arizona Sunbears right now. His father, Jaques, is in the Hall of fame. I had the honour to meet that man once, when I visited Daniel.
Our team here was playing for over 15 years in the first league in ice hockey and in this time we had lots of good canadian players here :-)
Quite a few of the guys that I played with went over to Europe and played. Some went to Switzerland and others to Italy. A lot of Canadians go there to play and why not. Must be nice to live and play the game that you love in other beautiful parts of the world. Also some of their parents are from Europe originally. Dan must have fun coaching in Arizona it`s a real nice place. AFRICA fucking HOT, but a real nice place. The last place you`d expect hockey ! The Hockey Hall of Fame is in Toronto not far from where I live. It really is something too see. Quote
8/9/09 @ 10:42am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Canada Baby!!!!
Posts: 235
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A child stands in court before a judge. His parents are divorcing and the judge is asking him which parent he would like to live with. "Would you like to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! she beats me every night i dont want to live with her!". So the judge says "Ok, you can go live with your dad then." the child replies "No! he beats me every night as well! i dont want to live with him!" and the judge replies "Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?".
The boy replies "The Toronto Maple Leafs." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"
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Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea?
- Because the Canadiens have all the cups.
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What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn't?
- Black and white photographs of their last Stanley Cup.
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Where's the red light district in Toronto?
- Right behind the Maple Leafs net!
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A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Leaf fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Leaf fans too. Not really knowing what a Leaf fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Leaf fan." Then, asks the teacher, what are you? "Why I'm proud to be a Montreal Canadien fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Canadien fan. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Canadien fans, and I'm a Canadien fan too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Leaf fan."
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Four hockey fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team, and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their hockey team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Canadiens fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for the Great Montreal Canadiens!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Edmonton Oilers fan threw himself off the mountain shouting "This is for the Oilers!"
Seeing this, the Ottawa Senators fan walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Toronto Maple Leafs fan off the side of the mountain.
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hahaha SUCK IT leafs!!
awesome post dude, keep em coming please guys!! Quote
8/9/09 @ 11:32am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143
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A child stands in court before a judge. His parents are divorcing and the judge is asking him which parent he would like to live with. "Would you like to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! she beats me every night i dont want to live with her!". So the judge says "Ok, you can go live with your dad then." the child replies "No! he beats me every night as well! i dont want to live with him!" and the judge replies "Well if both your parents beat you then who do you want to live with?".
The boy replies "The Toronto Maple Leafs." The judge is puzzled. "why would you want to live with them?" he asks. The boy replies "Because they dont beat anyone!"
--------------------------
Why don't the Maple Leafs drink tea?
- Because the Canadiens have all the cups.
-------------------------
What does Toronto have that Montreal doesn't?
- Black and white photographs of their last Stanley Cup.
--------------------------
Where's the red light district in Toronto?
- Right behind the Maple Leafs net!
---------------------------
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Leaf fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Leaf fans too. Not really knowing what a Leaf fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. One girl has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Leaf fan." Then, asks the teacher, what are you? "Why I'm proud to be a Montreal Canadien fan," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she is a Canadien fan. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Canadien fans, and I'm a Canadien fan too." The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a Leaf fan."
-----------------------
Four hockey fans were climbing a mountain one day. Each was a fan of a different team, and each proclaimed to be the most loyal of all fans of their hockey team. As they climbed higher, they argued as to which one of them was the most loyal of all.
They continued to argue all the way up the mountain, and finally as they reached the top, the Canadiens fan hurled himself off the mountain, shouting, "This is for the Great Montreal Canadiens!" as he fell to his doom. Not wanting to be out done, the Edmonton Oilers fan threw himself off the mountain shouting "This is for the Oilers!"
Seeing this, the Ottawa Senators fan walked over and shouted, "This is for everyone!" and pushed the Toronto Maple Leafs fan off the side of the mountain.
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hahaha SUCK IT leafs!!
awesome post dude, keep em coming please guys!!
GREAT JOB !!!
I was hoping you would see this my fellow canuck
I hope everyone takes the opportunity to trash a sports team that they love to take SHOTS at !!! Quote
Such a waste of money on a coach with a sure thing--have you seen his salary??? It's his TEAM with the talent.
Tim Tebow--obnoxious bible-thumping, self-righteous QB--sure he can run, but his passing game will never fly in the NFL. I am calling it now.
GATOR FANS--obnoxious through-and-through. Nuff said. Quote
Thats funny... Some of this guys I knes are Bruce Hardy, Wally Schreiber, Grant Martin or Mike Bullard... Maybe you know some of them...
1. FC BAYERN MNCHEN
Mnchen is playing against Kln. There comes a train ans whistles... Team Kln thought that was the referee and left the field...
After 10 minutes Mnchen shot their first goal...
Quote
8/9/09 @ 3:20pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143
Such a waste of money on a coach with a sure thing--have you seen his salary??? It's his TEAM with the talent.
Tim Tebow--obnoxious bible-thumping, self-righteous QB--sure he can run, but his passing game will never fly in the NFL. I am calling it now.
GATOR FANS--obnoxious through-and-through. Nuff said.
Geez Heather, Wish you were up here in Canada to help me trash the LEAFS You being from Florida am I to assume that you are a SEMINOLES fan than ???
There is A nice Bar that separates MADEIRA and TREASURE ISLAND Florida named "GATORS" I love that place when I go down south ! Guess I won`t bump into you there !!! I`ve heard that the BUXOM Cafe is somewhere in Florida too Quote
8/9/09 @ 3:26pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143
1. FC BAYERN MNCHEN
Mnchen is playing against Kln. There comes a train ans whistles... Team Kln thought that was the referee and left the field...
After 10 minutes Mnchen shot their first goal...
Sorry Gallo, don`t know any of the names you`ve listed, but a lot do come Canada to play there.(Europe) Actually Germany has really improved it`s hockey program when it comes to the world stage as well ! NOT LIKE CANADA OF COURSE but you know what I mean
Soccer....sorry football is huge there don`t you trash talk about any teams ? Quote
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8/9/09 @ 7:40pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143
Actually I hope you are right Fireplug ! I would love to see them come to Hamilton Don`t want Phoenix to lose out, but if you can`t support a team then southern Ontario surely CAN !!! I already am part of "MAKE IT SEVEN !" Balsillie has this website up and running dealing with the bankruptcy case, and where they stand at the moment. The judge has said that they now must consider his offer. I`m going to keep my fingers crossed Quote
8/9/09 @ 9:45pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: On the Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 532